Swati Khatri

Yes, I want to patch up. No, it’s not the kind of patch up you might be thinking about. This is a special kind of patch up; which I want to have just with myself. Yes, I want to patch up with myself.

You must be confused.

When did I break up with myself?

To be honest, I don’t know when I broke up. But lately I realised that I am not living the life I chose. Maybe I had already broken up with myself. Was it when I stopped my regular workout sessions because of long work hours? Or was it when I cried buckets over that mean comment of a so-called friend. It may also have happened when I was not ready to leave a wrong relationship. No matter when it happened. It has already happened. So, to patch up with myself seems to be the only sensible thing to do now.

So how to patch up? When I thought deeply, I realised it will take some conscious effort. Every relationship requires work and time. Yes, even the relationship that I have with myself. I thought for days and thought about some things I need to do.

 Take care of my Health
So, I have decided to work out regularly, drink enough water, include fruits in my diet.

Now, lets talk about mental health.

  • As I know that I talk to myself the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. I can’t afford it to be harsh. So, I need to Check out what I am saying to myself. Yes, self-talk is the ultimate game changer.
  • I need to forgive myself for my mistakes. And not be too cautious about making one.
  • I need to accept that even mistakes are needed to understand that life can have a different plan.

Decluttering my life
There had been so many days when I had realised that life was a total mess. Sometimes it’s difficult to finish a task at hand. At times because the to- do list was cluttered, at times my desk was cluttered and at times my mind was. As I am writing this, I see my desk is still cluttered. So, I have to start from decluttering the desk. In this way, I will be able to plan the day in advance. At least I won’t have to clean my desk when I should be working on an important assignment.
Just like my desk, life needs to be decluttered too. Yes, people can be mean and I can’t control that. I can only protect myself. I may not be able to disconnect all ties with such people. At least I can keep it to the bare minimum.

Take selfcare as an ongoing process
Because I did it pretty well last time my life was messed up, I thought I didn’t need to do it again.  Yes, it was some years ago when doctors told me that I had a chronic illness. That diagnosis shook my world. I started doing all the things that made my soul happy because I understood any day could be my last day.
And yes, when I survived that illness. I realised I had hit a milestone in life. And then kept on being proud of it for so many years. But now I realise that life won’t always give me a wake-up call and I have to do self-care every day of my life. I don’t have to wait for a diagnosis to take care of myself. My soul needs to be happy every day of my life. So, I have decided to do one thing that makes my soul happy every day. These things are

  • Writing
  • Listening to music
  • Taking kathak lessons

I will start with one of these and eventually try to include doing them all every week, for 6 months at least.

 Focus on one thing at a time
Over the years I have realised that multi-tasking is not for me. So, I have decided to give my attention to one thing at a time and give my best to the task in hand rather than doing everything at once. It will surely make day to day life easier. This applies to both, personal and professional life.

I realise it will be a long journey ahead and I will have to put in a lot of effort. It may not be easy but it needs to be done. I promise to myself that I am starting this journey.

Do let me know if you ever felt that you have broken up with yourself. And what steps did you take to patch up?


Picture Courtesy artist Miten Lapsia